She says to herself that she has let go of the past. She started with a new life. She never put an end to the old one. She never mentions the two years we spent together. She always emphasizes on how she wants to be herself three years ago. She makes me feel that in all those times she never loved me; that it was all just sadness that I made her then life to be. She doesn’t seem to blame me, but she doesn’t acknowledge me at the same time. She will never forgive. She will never forget. She makes it all sound like it was just a fantasy. She thinks of it as a mistake. She did love me. She does choose to forget me. She was the one and only that I had. She taught me a lot about being more open-minded. She thought I was different. She now think it was wrong for her to think so. She was my best friend; the person I would confide with when I had the problem; and I was the person she chose to lean on to when she had her own problems. She, however, has contented herself with the presence of her dearly beloved friends. She has forgotten about our time together. She made plans with me of which I choose, forevermore, to carry out. She, however, has begun a new life in which I am not part of. She was my first love; to dream of her as my last was ever since she first held my hand. She was the first girl I kissed. She was the first girlfriend that I ever have. She never did put an end to our relationship; not that I know of. She told me she didn’t want me to change, but now I believe all those times she was gone, she actually did. She told me she loved me. She told everyone else I would be the one she would rather be with, though she did like someone else then. She spent so much love for me that I could not ever repay with but my love for her as well. She treated me well, but she hasn’t ended it well if that’s what she really wants. She came back. She never wanted to speak to me. She told me upon her leaving that she will let me know about herself. She never sent me anything ever again. She did say that I wasn’t allowed at her place, so I never had the courage to visit her those times. She values more of her friends now. She left me alone with no else to confide. She earned much of my trust, my gratitude, my love. She seems to have given it all up upon my own inconsistencies throughout those times. She promised me her love; I promised mine to hers. She now loves everyone else and the new life born out of those earlier experiences. She has made a public announcement of her coming, but no one else had the courage to tell me about it. She has absolutely gotten everyone else’s attention, and she has left me feeling forevermore alone with myself. She has seemingly given up on our friendship. She has given up on her love for me, my love for her, our love. She agrees that “first love never dies”, but she has apparently chosen to not speak of it, like it was a curse. She has probably found a new love, one that she should have had if I didn’t come along her way. She’ll live to be the best that she can be now that she has nearly taken me off her life. She will be the best mother to her future children. She will become a wiser lover to her future husband.

I wish her the best. I, however, wish to rekindle that love soon. I was there when she needed me. I answered the phone when she was agitated about someone pushing for plans of which she wanted her own plans to come through. I walked myself through the wet roads to pick her up from a washed up building after I myself had reached home beforehand. I was there when she felt insecure about the very people we loved to hang out with. I will forever be here to hear her out, but she seems to have chosen not to. I was to be a good father to our future children, as she said, but I probably will never be again as she has chosen her side. I was her best friend. I was the one with whom she confided with about anything and everything. I love her. I am willing to give back everything for her, but she seems forever to ignore me. I know I have made my own mistakes, but this one I won’t ever regret, though it kills me every waking day. I may seem to be happy, but once she steps into the light, I don’t know what to say. I was assured by her that we would always work things out. I was considered by her to be the very person she would always come to at the end of every day. I am now no one else’s. I am losing my friends while she gains them and wins new ones at the same time. I have no one to trust because all eyes are on her. I was given attention by people, but I chose to speak to only a few. I, now, don’t know how those people have taken my words into good use. I am a disgrace to her and everyone else who claims to be at her side. I am no longer her friend, her lover, but a mere figurine that doesn’t seem to even take on a good shadow of the past. I will be left wondering while everyone feasts on their newfound knowledge. I will try to live a new one, but will never forget her as my own. I will question, but I will suggest you don’t be bothered by me. I will challenge and please do not question me. I will try to work things out, but please don’t challenge me. I would rather be told by her that I will never again have a chance. I would rather be given a last word, probably a last hug, a last kiss, than be kept waiting, reminiscing, withdrawing from our last ones. I would rather try to recall the good of the past that had made the relationship grow the best than it could be, than consider it as nothing as she has seemingly makes it to be. I would want to be recognized for the love I have given than be told that she was sad all those years. I can’t allow myself to be blamed for her sadness because I know she wasn’t. I was there for her. I was the one she asked. I, now, am the one she wishes to leave behind while she tries to regain chance and rejoice with those who say they miss and love her. I shall leave everyone guessing on what I have become. I shall leave the people I have considered and had made an impact in my life. I will try my best to be better of a lover to her if she will accept; and if not, I will wait ‘til before death to make my amends. I wish for no one who understands this to visit me upon my deathbed, as many of you had kept the very information that could redeem or extinguish the hope that I have been building up for myself and our relationship for over seven months. I do not wish for any of you to be guilty about it. I just wish for you to know how hurt I have been all these times. I have kept much of my feelings from everyone because I knew it wouldn’t do any good for each of you. I, however, am noticeably sad when you know she’s around, but you choose to stand alongside her.

Thank you. Make her feel pleased. Make her feel at home. Make her the best that she can be with this new life of hers. Provide her with love; love that I could never have matched. Make her comfortable.

Allow her to be herself.